The Hidden Figures Series – Episode 4

Today, I am thrilled to write a reflection about a person I love and value tremendously. And that is none other than my teenage niece! My sister often tells me I love my niece, i.e., her daughter, so much because I see my reflection in her. There is truth to her statement: My niece and I are immensely sensitive yet unexpectedly brave and do not run for popularity contests in any sense. Undoubtedly, we are kindred spirits, but there is more! She is a wonder, a unique gem who radiates a rare luster that fascinates me!

A bundle of joy

My family often states that my niece and I have many distinct similarities: We are both zestful learners who appreciate cultures and music. However, the story does not end there. Unfortunately, we are inclined to strive for perfection and are our harshest critics.

When my niece was a toddler, as I recognized our similarities, I rejoiced because they reminded me of myself. In the same breath, I mourned what I anticipated would be challenges for one infused with such proclivities. Whenever I carried her, I saw an imperfectly perfect person who would fixate on her imperfections. While overlooking her plethora of strengths, believing they were not that special. However, to my delight, when my niece was 15, I noticed a different aspect of her personality that left me awestruck!

One Saturday evening, we had a family dinner and a lively discussion. – An aside: my family is filled with passionate people who laugh a lot. Therefore, family dinners are often animated and rarely somber. 😊 And that evening was no different!

Schooling on Value!

We were eager to know what my niece thought of her classes, classmates, and teachers. As she gave us a synopsis of her experience and perceptions, I detected that in one class, she was working on a group project where some were not pulling their weight. Quickly, I harped onto the story! Thinking I was encouraging her, I said, You know, you take advanced classes and grasp concepts quickly. Some are not as intelligent and struggle to keep up. To me, it seemed like a logical statement. But to my surprise, it did not sit well with my niece! Immediately, she responded, Aunty, everyone is intelligent. Although everyone does not understand the same things easily, all are intelligent. Without giving it much thought, I strove to defend my statement. Out of respect and love for me, my niece did not respond, and the conversation thread ended.

Instantly, I realized I had the last word but had not won anything! Have you ever found yourself in such a situation? It’s a yucky place to be! For the remainder of the evening, I was very disturbed by my reaction because my niece is my girl! I admired her steadfast decision to see value in everyone and perceive all as gifted, not act as the arbiter of value.

Life lessons in unexpected places

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I could not silence her words and rid my memory bank of her melancholic facial expression. I recalled her desperate attempt to ensure the value everyone offers is recognized and they are appreciated – for who they are. Not viewed as less than based on an arbitrary scale.

Within minutes, overwhelmed, I sent a family group text message. – I thanked my niece for having the courage and humanity to highlight my misunderstanding and correct my thinking. On that evening, my niece epitomized the value that a hidden figure provides. – Hidden figures like my niece remind us that all humans are valuable and should be acknowledged. By so doing, they shine the light on others even when it takes glory away from themselves.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve – when many indulge in food, gifts, and much more. This year, let us consider a worthwhile indulgence: Let us indulge in valuing others. Specifically, respecting them and letting them know what we appreciate about them. If this seems daunting, start with one. Consider telling one person how they contributed positively to your life this year.

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Brett Sayles