Today, knowledge acquisition is the new gold rush. We want to know as much as possible at warp speed, so much so that we may resent it when others are more knowledgeable than we are. We might even engage in a battle with them in our minds.

Often, I wonder what the point of such unfruitful inner warfare is! Personally, I do not value people simply because they know more than I do. Instead, I respect those who understand deeply. I am drawn to them for their ability to crystallize concepts. That said, the individuals I admire have a zest for learning and growth, along with an insatiable curiosity about what truly matters. Here, I underscore the phrase what truly matters, because it is pointless to run around trying to master the inconsequential. With such a mindset, one may spark futile debates or argue over trivialities while ignoring critical problems that plague society and humanity. Unsurprisingly, nowhere else have I learned this more than in my journey with multiple sclerosis.

Learning while living

Multiple sclerosis can feel like a curse, because if one is looking for a pill, serum, or vial that can take it away, they may wait for the rest of their days. However, when living with the condition, one has ample opportunity to concoct a unique elixir for themselves. For me, that elixir is love. And this is a gift!

Undeniably, I am loving myself through and out of multiple sclerosis, while not ignoring medical care. This frame of mind is best captured like this:
I have enough time to do what I need to do, but I do not have all day. Therefore, I am resolved not to waste time on things that do not matter. Instead, I invest my heart, mind, and soul in what furthers my reason for existence. I invest in love, and love is not complete unless it includes others, which requires understanding.

What enables understanding?

Working with patients who are living with chronic neurological conditions such as multiple sclerosis must be humbling for many medical professionals. As they navigate uncharted ground, they must assume the role of a learner, not an expert, listen more than speak, and strive to understand more than to dispense knowledge. Ultimately, they must learn more than teach.

For this reason, the ones I choose to engage with are best described by the word: learner! They are curious to understand and do not believe they have achieved, or will ever achieve, mastery. It is evident from the moment we meet and visible in how they observe me and inquire about my past and present activities and aspirations. Above all, it translates into their ability to step out of their zone and enter mine for a moment. Once that happens, I feel understood!

The value of not knowing

Understanding means stepping out of our world, entering another person’s and allowing them to validate or correct our perception. Recently, I met a medical professional who demonstrated this ability. The man had a fascinating background: no medical degree, experience with veterans, and experience in other countries as the sole medical provider for large communities. He currently works with young children who require prosthetics. Additionally, as a baby, he suffered nerve damage.

Undoubtedly, his experiences could lead him to assume he understands what many with a neurological disorder face. However, he does not. Instead, he embraces not knowing and adopts a curious mindset, which makes him highly effective because he is continuously learning.

Understanding requires not knowing.

The man and I were supposed to meet for thirty minutes, but we ended up spending over an hour in discussion. Throughout our conversation, he measured his words, observed me, and checked the accuracy of his assumptions. I greatly appreciated his intention not to jump to conclusions.

Unsurprisingly, when I left our meeting, I felt understood. Not because he ever said he understood, but because he acknowledged he did not know and wanted to learn. Specifically, he requested access, entered my world, and asked me to vet his perceptions. This is the true and verifiable meaning of understanding in human interactions.

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Andrea Piacquadio