Last week, in the piece: What Truly Matters? I shared a skill I view as critical in a life partner! Given the long list of beneficial characteristics one can strive for, let me articulate a bit more about why the skill of decision-making is so significant!

The reason for the choice

Many years ago, I used to think my choice of a husband was all about me. Therefore, I sought the impeccable and avoided all that drove me up the wall. At one point, on my list of must-haves was the word: Voice! I justified it by saying He will be my date for the rest of my life. I need to be able to listen to him speak for hours! When I hear the voice, I’ll know it! One day, a friend reminded me kindly that I was not hiring a voice-over artist. 😉 Then I realized my list was a portrait of a man without blemish. – A perfect person. Not one of character – capable of co-creating a life worth living. A perfect person is a figment of the imagination and incapable of journeying with one through the realities of life.

Curious, I began examining the meaning of life and questioning the need for marriage. Seeking to understand what both signified for me, I gained a new perspective. Soon after, I realized it was an epiphany! – One that affected how I perceived marriage and became a filter for vital decisions personally and professionally.

The epiphany

Here’s what I learned: What matters most in selecting and choosing a life partner is not solely happiness or the joy of finding a treasure. It is what both co-create and will endure―beyond their time.

Those most impacted by my marriage will be my future children―outside my husband and me! Additionally, the most critical decision I will make as a mom will probably happen before any are born. It will not be the schools they attend, where they live, or the food they eat. Undoubtedly, those are critical decisions, and they matter. However, what will have an indelible impact and leave the most lasting imprint in their lives is my selection of their dad!

Why it matters to me

Living well is not easy. Like others, I have learnt and continue to learn how to live well and thrive. Therefore, I am confident that I will be okay. Also, I believe my future children will find their way. Still, I want to set them up as best I can. Their dad and I are their safety net as they enter the world. We are responsible for making decisions that propel them on their life journey. My commitment to this responsibility and awareness of the privilege is a preeminent reason why the skill of decision-making matters immensely to me. And why I never neglect my commitment to vetting it out in a life partner. – Here, I cannot afford regret. The cost is too high, especially for my children and all who earnestly love me.

Beyond me

Life is not a solo sport. Although we might feel alone at times, we are never truly alone. – Our choices impact our lives and others. Indeed, as a thought leader eloquently stated, Human beings exist as individuals and as members of groups at all times. I am one, and I am one of many… always.

Fellow explorer: What is one thing you can do to elevate your skill in decision-making? Perhaps ask a trusted friend for feedback or perspective on a specific decision, take professional training, or read a related article?

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

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