Would you stop?! The man with the money says he does not have it. You need to stop begging!
I hate to admit it, but I said this when I was six!
It was a sunny, 80-degree, peaceful Sunday afternoon. As was typical, my parents took my elder sister and me out for a ride in the town. Sunday afternoon family rides were a highlight of my childhood! And that day was no exception. I was delighted to be out and about. And even more enchanted when I noticed Merry-Go-Round was there!

A dream

Merry-Go-Round was an amusement ride, occasionally set up in the downtown area. But it was not your run-of-the-mill carousel or roundabout. – This one had horses, carriages, airplanes, helicopters, and more! Going on the ride was every child’s dream, and not getting on it felt like a tragedy! That fateful afternoon, when my sister and I saw the ride, we immediately began nagging and pestering my parents: Daddy! Mommy! Stop the car! Merry-Go-Round is here! Did you see it? We must go on it now! We do not know when it will be back. It might never come back!

In the past, my dad would stop, turn the car around, and drive to the ride once we pleaded. But that day was different: Not only did he not stop. He said he did not have money on him. Well, his response was incredible to me! Minutes earlier, we stopped at the French grocery store, SCORE, and bought some goodies, including one of my then-favorite chocolate treats, Smarties. For that reason, I believed he had money. But he did not want to spend it on what I wanted. Or, in my mind, “needed“! Immediately, I began stewing on my disappointment, wondering how to respond.

How will I respond to this?

My sister continued to plead dramatically. The more she pled, the more incensed I became. In short order, I had enough and responded: Would you stop?! The man with the money says he does not have it. You need to stop begging!

Stunned by my reaction and aware of what my statement implied, my dad turned the car around and drove to the park. As soon as he did, my sister and I were beyond ourselves! That day, I had the ride of my life!

What do you respond to?

Over the years, my parents have recounted that story several times. Each time I hear it, cringing, I respond, I was a piece of work! Hopefully, my future little ones will not inherit that quality! 😉

As a quintessential Daddy’s girl whom he happily took along whenever I wanted, it bewilders me that I chose to be saucy with him. Even more striking was his response! – He understood that underneath my ill-placed remark was the belief I was not valued. Consequently, he did not react to my words. Instead, he responded to the meaning behind them. Essentially, he truly listened. And as I felt heard, I believed I mattered!

Life lessons in unlikely places

Hours later, when my emotions were at a healthy equilibrium, my mom had a much-needed discussion with me. – She helped me recognize the flaws in my thinking and approach.

Decades later, whenever I think about this story, I smile. However, my smile is not because of the thrilling ride – although it was a blast! I smile because of the pivotal life lesson I gained from my dad that day. It was a lesson on how to show others they matter: To mend relationship rifts and enable connection, avoid reacting to words. – Seek to understand the emotion behind the words and respond to that.

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Mohamed Denhadji