The Hidden Figures Series – Episode 2

Nowadays, peace is a word we hear often, but many do not feel it. We experience peace within ourselves and in relationships with others. Within oneself, peace is freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions. And between people, peace is described as a steady state of harmony and tranquility. – This presents a dilemma. – We can seek peace alone, but we do not find it alone: We cannot have a calm mind when feuding with others. Likewise, it is challenging to maintain harmonious relationships with others when our hearts are not at ease. So, how does one radiate peace consistently?

Radiating peace

For insight, I will look to one of the most peaceful people I know, and it is not myself – I am still working on patience. 😉 However, it is one close to me. It is my nephew! My nephew is a rare guy with many character strengths, including peacefulness. I particularly admire his approach to peace because he does not merely avoid and resolve conflict. Instead, he strives to restore wholeness and give others peace.
Unsurprisingly, he displayed peacemaking tendencies since he was a little toddler when he consistently apologized to his younger sister for hurting her feelings and to all for his mistakes. Over the years, as he grew into a young man, this proclivity proved his superpower. And I became fascinated with understanding the qualities that enabled him to display it consistently. Now, this reminds me of one of our most recent interactions.

During the Thanksgiving holidays, when my nephew came home from university, I was thrilled to see him! He is a fun conversationalist who constantly grows mentally and physically. And, of course, I cannot get the image of him as a cute, cuddly three-year-old out of my memory bank and heart. – Even though, now, he is much taller and muscular. 😊
A few days before Thanksgiving, while he and I were chatting, I asked about the roommate he had during his first year at college. I was wondering if he ran into him on campus. My nephew said he had not and recalled the fond memories they shared. And I began reminiscing about some of what transpired during their time together.

Cultivating peace through memories

I remembered how when his roommate fell ill, rather than being upset that he wasn’t pulling his weight with their chores, he helped him to complete his. Then, he went to the cafeteria to purchase meals for his roommate – without being asked. I later learned that despite being a fan of sleeping with the fan on, he decided not to because his roommate struggled with it. Also, my parents, i.e., his grandparents, frequently shipped his favorite health bars to him at school. Soon, they learned why he quickly ran out: His roommate liked one of the flavors, and he encouraged him to eat as many as he wanted. Being a protective aunt, I wondered if he felt coerced to share and asked him. He quickly assured me he was happy to share! That was small stuff, and he wasn’t sweating it. To him, a harmonious environment was worth minor inconveniences.
Unsurprisingly, his roommate valued him greatly, and although they had different backgrounds and perspectives, his roommate trusted him. And they had a lot of fun.

In these seemingly trite examples, we see a potent quality of a peacemaker: consideration. Peacemakers consider the well-being of others over their trivial preferences. In a torn world, we need more peacemakers―who seek harmony above mere comfort and uphold their values but compromise with preferences.

An often overlooked yet vital skill

My nephew is the epitome of a hidden figure who exudes peace. – One who strives for harmony because he believes it benefits the community, not for acknowledgment. As a result, he is very admirable and leaves many awestruck. I often think: If I mysteriously received an extra five years of life and could share it, I would pass them to him because the world would be more peaceful with him in it for a little longer. And he would serve as a model of what it takes to create happier and safer homes, schools, workplaces, and communities. – This is the gift a peacemaker gives to all.

Peacemakers are critical figures who are often hidden and rarely touted. –  We rarely hear about them unless they helped resolve a great war between tribes and nations. However, many disputes at home, work, and across social circles erupt because peacemaking is a missing skill. I am attracted to peacemakers as they have much to offer. And as a society, we have much to learn from them.

As we navigate the 2024 festive season, here is a thread of questions worth considering: Do you know a peacemaker? What is one thing they do to diffuse tension, and how can you do the same during the holidays?

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Artem Podrez