The Hidden Figures Series – Episode 1

At various times in my 20s, I pondered whether feelings or people could be wrong. Recently, it occurred to me that I am reliving my 20s because society seems obsessed with such declarations! Nowadays, we freely assert that people and their feelings are wrong – not simply their ideas! -This is the ideological backbone of cancel culture. Of course, you might be the exception here, so do not take offense. 😉 However, as you know, it is unfortunately common when walking by a conference room or a dinner table to hear one say to another, you are wrong, and it is absurd to feel that way about me! Understandably, one may struggle to understand how another sees the world or why they feel as they do. However, it is reasonable for a lack of understanding to incite curiosity and a desire to understand, not spur condemnation.

Now, this brings to mind a recent conversation with a friend.

Right is hard

A few weeks ago, my friend narrated an experience with her son. Her son is a kind, sensitive, and energetic 7th grader! At the end of the school term, he stated that he had not received his report card. A couple of days later, when she inquired again, he responded, oh yes, I received it. Next, he insisted on reading the comments in the report card on the phone rather than sending a copy to her. Not thinking much of it, she allowed him to read them as he wished.

A few days later, out of the blue, her son informed her he had received his report card days earlier. But he did not tell her or share some comments because they did not paint him favorably. Specifically, he omitted comments about him being fidgety during class, not listening well, and frequently interrupting other students.

Upon learning this, his parents decided to go to his school and speak to his teacher. When they arrived in the classroom, his teacher was not there. Therefore, they requested to meet the principal. – A move that would send most kids shaking in their boots, and the boy was petrified! However, the meeting took an unexpected turn.

Unhidden!

Once they arrived in the principal’s office, he greeted them and invited them to have a seat. Promptly, the parents informed the principal of the reason for the impromptu visit. Next, the principal calmly discussed the incident with the boy, and his approach put him at ease. He informed the 7th grader that he could relate to feeling unsettled in the classroom because he also struggled with that. Next, he suggested ways to contain and redirect anxious thoughts into productive ones. – Such as taking a book to class and writing down random thoughts rather than yelling them out.

After the conversation, my friend said her son felt supported, although corrected, and encouraged, though disciplined. His sentiments were evident when he said, Mom, I liked talking to the principal because he helped me understand that sometimes, I am right and have good ideas. But I don’t need to say them as soon as I think of them. Here, this little boy learned a nuanced lesson that applies to all: Saying the right thing at the wrong time is often unbeneficial.

Show the right way!

When my friend narrated this story, I was delighted because I know the little boy and he is a sweet kid who often feels unseen. However, by investing his time and caring, his principal made him feel seen and helped him realize that although he did the wrong thing, he was not a bad person. To that little boy, the man is a hero who inspired him to do better, and surely, he will! Simply because on one chilly fall afternoon, a man – a hidden figure who may never be publicly acknowledged for his good deeds took the time to see him and care.

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Rocketmann Team