What would my mom tell me if she were here?
I imagine my future daughter asking this question at several crossroads in her life journey. I hope I am just a call away. But if I am not, how will I respond to her?
Typically, I write to benefit others or as a self-care practice. Sometimes, and more so recently, I feel inspired to write to her: To provide needed answers to not-yet-asked questions. My notes for her are born of love – like pebbles on a trail that guide a child home. They are insights into struggles I endured, joys I lived, mistakes I made, and lessons I learned along the path I traversed. Living well is hard. I hope they make her journey less trying. Also, I hope they remind her she is loved and was always desperately wanted.

I will share an excerpt of a piece I penned for her. It may benefit another―in some fashion.

A love note. For my future daughter.

Love is real. It is in your ethos. You come from a line of imperfect women who are resolute in love and faithfulness.
You will recognize true love because it is demonstrated through action, not mere feelings or words.
True love is a fountain that never runs dry. – Even when a broken dream or shattered heart attempts to convince you otherwise. Allow yourself to love and be loved. As we give it, we must also receive it.

Love yourself. Prioritize your self-worth over your net worth.

Your self-worth comes from who you are and what you cultivate. Only you can grow it, and no one can take it away―unless you let them.
Your net worth is what you work for. You get it through others, and others can rob you of it.

Be kind and receive kindness.

At one time, I worked in a large commercial building downtown. The parking lot was reserved for senior executives and long-tenured employees. Being neither, I could not park there. One evening, I left work late and was walking to an external lot two miles away, where I left my car. It was raining cats and dogs! On the road, a senior executive saw me while driving home and offered to give me a ride. Notably, he made the same offer days earlier. But I did not want to inconvenience him and politely declined.

However, that evening, things were different: It was windy. I was cold and drenched―even though I was holding an umbrella. Additionally, it was getting dark, and I was getting scared. Therefore, I was grateful he stopped and offered again, and I received it. Many years have passed since that incident, but I remember him because of his kind act. Kindness is impactful.

Find and know your one.

We cannot rush true love. We must be patient.
When you know your one, as he chooses you, choose him too.
As you enter the relationship, bring your heart along. – We only commit when we are all in.
Invest in him and be faithful.
There is no need to play hard to get. You are a more formidable challenge than you realize, and he will feel the weight!
Treat him with honor. – Respect him and show him how he is special. Be his haven.

Steer clear of the man who promises you diamonds with empty words. Choose the one who shows you that you have a chamber in his heart. Such a man esteems you highly and recognizes that if he loses you, he will lose a vital piece of himself. That is the highest valuation he could give. Your heart is priceless. So is his. Handle both with care.

Go the distance – even if the road that leads you to him is broken. Love is the gift you’ll give yourself.

Two-gather-ness!

Marriage is like tennis doubles. One only wins if both win.

Two agree to pursue a united purpose. They support and care greatly for each other. When one needs an ice pack, their partner searches for it. If one has a muscle cramp, the other eases it. When one reaches for a cup of water, they grab a second for their partner. They practice together – respecting their strengths and supporting their growth. Steadfastly, they aim for complementation. The only way to win is together―and they know it!

One more thing!

Whenever you feel you have run out of patience and have nothing more to give, breathe. Be kind to yourself.

Loving you is my source of joy. – Your mom.

End of excerpt

Yours truly,
Aké Satia

Image credit: Pixabay