Almost ten years ago, on a cloudy spring Saturday morning, I went to the grocery store. – I had no expectations other than to get some veggies, cheese, crackers, and a pot of purple orchids. While walking into the store, I saw a man standing next to the entrance, holding a cardboard with a message. We have all seen such signs. Often, we don’t read them. That day, for a reason – unknown to me, I did! And once I did, I decided to walk over to him. Initially, I intended to drop a bill or two into the basket he was holding. But looking at him, I was compelled to do something else. His daring decision to panhandle in front of that particular store merited an earnest response: More than spare change!

What do you need?

The grocery store he was standing in front of was in a notable zip code with legendary residents. Consequently, every store, including the grocery store, was a little different: pristine and filled with the latest and greatest of everything. It felt like a different world because the residents wanted it to look and feel that way. For that reason, that Saturday morning, the man had done what few dared to: Panhandle – there!

Astonished by his boldness, I could only say one thing: Good morning, what is your story?

A choice. A decision. A life story.

Surprisingly quickly, the man began narrating his life story.
About two decades earlier, he graduated with an engineering degree from the University of Washington. Soon after, he married, and he and his wife began growing their family. They had two children: First, a girl. Then, a boy. Presently, the man was in his 40s. But his life did not turn out as he had hoped. In his twenties, he became addicted to drugs and alcohol and spent years trying to get sober. While his son was a teenager, he also became addicted to drugs, dropped out of school, and was struggling to kick the habit. Later, his wife struggled with schizophrenia.

For about fifteen minutes, he told me how he led his family through a homeless life and could never catch a break. However, as he spoke, I realized he was not seeking sympathy. He wanted to be seen and known as a human, not a problem. Then suddenly, his story took a turn!

The lasting power of a decision

Next, he spent the same amount of time talking about a girl he knew in university. He met her during his junior year, was mesmerized, and thought she hung the moon. She was forthcoming with her affections. And he could tell she valued him greatly. But as he felt undeserving, he was scared to show her he valued her too.
At about the same time, he met his wife: She was less of a challenge. Therefore, he chose her. In short order, they dated, got engaged, and married.

A couple of decades had passed since he knew the girl at university. But he said he thought of her often. He remembered how special she was. Also, he wondered how much better his life would be had he chosen and pursued her.

The cost of hiding

While speaking about her, he welled up and began to cry. Much time had passed since he last met her. However, a profound sense of regret and longing lingered. When she was before him, he spent much time telling others how great she was. But he never said it to the one who needed to hear it most: Her! He never gained the confidence and courage to allow her to feel seen and truly see him. Hence, she was always present in his world. But only as a memory.

When he stopped speaking, the story ended. But it had no ending. It was his story about the one who got away. And the lesson was evident: Be honest with yourself. Show those you love that you love and value them – while you have the chance.

Fellow explorer: Who do you value? Do they know?

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pixabay | ilovechile-travel