“I want to work on falling.” This is what I said to a physical therapist in response to the question, “What would you like to work on today?
Please don’t get the wrong idea: I’m not a reckless adventurer, far from it! Like many of us, I hate falling! Then one day, impulsively, I went skydiving and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Only when I heard Live Like You Were Dying did I realize that my desire to fall from the sky was symptomatic of a grieving heart.
But years later, I learned the true value of falling when life hit me with a doozy!

What changed everything!

With multiple sclerosis (MS), the chances of falling are high. When I learned this, I didn’t want to go for walks in the light. So, I hid, and it was hard because a life spent hiding is an unlived life. Fortunately, after some time, I thought: Instead of succumbing to the fear of falling, perhaps I need to learn to fall well.

Then one evening, I stumbled upon a documentary in which an extraordinary survivalist narrated stories about people who survived death-defying falls and explained what led to their survival. I was mesmerized and whispered, “This is what I’m talking about! Falling well is a skill.”

Later that week, during my appointment with my physical therapist, Rebecca, she asked what I wanted to work on. Immediately, I responded: “I want to learn to fall well. Because it is less about falling and more about getting up.” I knew it was an unorthodox request, especially for a physical therapist who is heavily incentivized to protect you from falling! But to my delight, Rebecca said, “You’re onto something! Anyone can fall, and you can do things to minimize injury. Let’s work on that.”

Learning to fall well.

As I learned how to fall safely in physical therapy, I couldn’t help but think of how important it is to learn to fall well emotionally. At times, falling emotionally can feel more devastating than falling physically. – Tears may or may not stream down our cheeks, but we mourn inside because our dreams are crushed or our ego is bruised.

Yes, we don’t want to fall; yet if we don’t accept that it can happen, and dare I say, prepare for it, we will settle. – For a life beneath our abilities, potential, and dreams. Such is the quintessential display of risk-free living. – A life where we opt for mere existence; consciously turning down promising opportunities because we think we will fail. Therefore, we exist and perhaps do some nice things, but never truly live.

Along this road, we must pause and ask ourselves what we could gain by learning to fall well, rather than avoiding it.

The real value of the skill.

To subdue my fear of falling, I train and build the skill. Sometimes, I practice on a very plush carpet. – The thick plush carpet is my safety net. And leveraging the tips my physical therapist shared is not only beneficial, but also really fun! Of course, this “hobby” had to be medically approved! 😊

Emotionally, I do something similar. – My people know I am well-versed in the art of silliness and love me not despite it, but because of it. 😉 Their acceptance is the safety net. So, I tell them my crazy thoughts, outlandish desires, and fears. Amazingly, that vulnerability helps them to be fearlessly open and brings us closer. At those moments, I remember that the unintended benefits of falling well are deeper friendships and confidence.

Friend, we don’t want to fall. And we certainly don’t want to fail. However, we don’t learn to fall well to avoid either. We build the skill so we can get back up when it happens.

For you and to you,
Aké

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