It was a sunny 90-degree afternoon, and I heard the school bell ringing. Recess was up; a recess I will never forget! I was in junior high and on a critical mission! I became friends with a classmate many were drawn to, though scared of. He excelled at every sport, especially basketball, was obsessed with his appearance, dressed in the hippest clothes, broke every rule, used fouler language than a sailor, and came from a well-off family. Therefore, he was always flying high. Everyone knew this, and the girls flocked to him because of it. I knew it too and stayed as far away as I could. – I didn’t trust him! How could I? I didn’t know him. – No one seemed to, because his heart was unreachable. I build trust in people who lead with heart, aka are vulnerable. – The other stuff is window-dressing. But “heart” is the real deal. 
So, it all changed when I saw his heart.

Overcoming through friendship

He suffered from substance use disorder, and his access to money enabled it. When it got really bad, his mask began to fall, and it tugged at my heart. Every day after school, he would phone me, and we’d chat for a while. Initially, about random things. Later, about his addictions! I got to know him, and I understood him, even though I couldn’t relate to him.

By being transparent and consistent, he took a risk and earned my trust. As he let me see him, I chose to see the best in him, even the hidden parts, and I cheered him on loyally. Indeed, he was a brother I never had.

Taking the first step

On that fateful sunny 90-degree day, he wanted to start over. We agreed he would get rid of all his stashes in the back-of-the-school toilet. It was a lot, and in tears, he flushed it down the drain. All I could do was hug him and tell him I was proud of him, as he broke down. But he wasn’t crying about the loss of money. – He was crying about the waste of time and life: About how far away he had gotten from himself, and how much work he would have to do to find himself again. His past had caught up with him: He had always been proud to be the baddest bad boy. For the first time, he regretted it.

As he took the first step, he showed true courage, and I learned plenty about what it takes to overcome great challenges. – Overcoming a great challenge is like eating a pie. We don’t devour it all at once. We cut it into pieces and eat one at a time – with a friend.

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pixabay| Joojoo41