He opens every door and clears every obstacle before you reach it. With every step, he shows men how to treat you before they approach you.
Recently, as my dad and I walked through the gym doors, the lady who works at the front desk watched us and said this to me. I laughed and responded, all my life, he has treated me like this. He shows me the kind of man I want to marry. Such men are rare, but they exist.

The bar

A few minutes later, while on the treadmill, I remembered stories friends had shared with me about their fathers intimidating men who tried to date them or whom they dated. – Often, by challenging the men verbally, physically, or financially to prove their worthiness. I am grateful my dad never used such an approach with my sisters and me. Through his example, he showed us what to look for in a man, and by showing me, he never needed to tell me.

Also, throughout the years, he and my mom said they would gladly receive our husbands as their sons. By giving us such freedom and letting go, they demonstrated that true love does not confine. It liberates. I am forever grateful for their example and always try to harvest every gem I can.
From them, I learned that love is a capacity that one can build. We cultivate it when we see it modeled, practice it, fall, rise, dust ourselves, and try again.

The capacity to love

Today, much is purported about what love is, and many discourses reduce love to romantic sentiments and feelings. Such thinking devalues the concept of love. Fortunately, we can glean some of the greatest lessons about love from parenting.

Good parents are not superhumans, and they are certainly not artificial intelligence. They are flawed individuals who cultivate a high capacity to love. It is visible in their ability to provide a child with guardrails that keep them going in the right direction without confining them to a specific location. It is a gentle assurance that says I am here if you need me, but you do not have to earn my love. And it is holding another in your heart, regardless of whether they ever think of you.

Good parents do not parent children with the expectation that they will compensate them. – They aim to help them lead a good and purposeful life.

The standard of love

The qualities we desire in every close relationship are visible in good parenting. We need to be guided, not pigeonholed. We also need to believe that we are valued because of who we are, not what we do or have. A good parent contributes to the significance of the world beyond oneself and one’s time on earth.

We are all somebody to somebody – a neighbor, a coworker, a friend, a child, or perhaps a parent. Let us take the time this season to show others why they matter to us. We may never know what unspoken needs we are meeting.

Happy New Year in advance! See you in 2026!

For you and to you,
Aké

P.S. Over the holidays, I was inspired to share learnings and thoughts on a highly relevant subject to us all: attachment. Feel free to check it out! Why do we attach?_BLOG_www.akesatia.com

Image credit: Pixabay_Jonas_Fehre