The Mindset Series – Episode 1.

Patience is an indomitable strength.

As I shared last week, to kick off 2024, we will explore how our mindset shapes our lives and how we can leverage our experiences, lessons, and relationships to propel us. -This idea sprouted because of an alluring experience that delighted me and left me wondering what lies ahead in 2024!
To further propagate the sentiment of wonder, let us kick off The Mindset Series by exploring a vital concept for realizing our dreams and attaining fulfillment. I am referring to the virtue of patience, also known as longsuffering, i.e., Having the ability to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering. Now, you may be thinking, Aké, don’t you think we should start the new year by exploring a concept like determination to uplift our spirits and gear us up to sprint into the New Year? Aren’t kick-offs about going forward, not pausing, or waiting?

Such reactions are understandable because most of us do not like to wait! Admittedly, neither do I. However, over time, I formed an appreciation for patience because its value is undeniable, but honing the ability is tiresome.

Our Threshold for Waiting

Waiting in line at the grocery store makes most of us fidget – like an army of soldier ants is crawling up our legs. Or, if we are waiting for a promotion at work, we badger everyone remotely involved to ensure that our name is at the top of the list for consideration! Also, if an item we ordered online does not show up in a snippety snap fashion, we drive to every retail store within an 8-mile radius until we lay hold of it. 😊

Indeed, to find one who truly enjoys waiting is to find a needle in the haystack. – For this reason, patience is one of the most misunderstood concepts.

Many assume patience is synonymous with sitting on a rock and twiddling your thumbs while latching onto every distraction in sight. However, such behavior is more a demonstration of daydreaming than patience.

The Value of Patience

Patience enables progress.

Fortunately, many real-life examples demonstrate the value of patience. – One such example is childbirth: One would be hard-pressed to hear a pregnant woman who is longing for a child say, Doc, I have been carrying this baby for five months, and I have had it! Despite what developmental state he is in, he needs to come out now! Contrarily, the mom-to-be is more likely to regard unabating morning sickness, weight gain, and innumerable pokes and prods within her body as mere inconveniences that pale in comparison to holding her bouncing baby boy at the due time.
Such examples and others remind us to fan the flame of optimism and bolster our commitment to pursue our worthy dreams despite how long it takes.  

However, immense challenges are not overcome merely by inner fortitude. – We need others.

Rising and Plunging

A specific instance etched in my mind epitomizes the value of others.

Several years ago, one bright summer morning, I rose to start my day but was consumed by a profound sense of helplessness and hopelessness. Though thrown for a loop, I decided to forge ahead with my daily routine, but I could not shake off the melancholic vibe or determine why I was so downcast. To make sense of it all, I began replaying my events of the earlier day: I had done some work, had dinner with a friend, and chatted with family on the phone. – Nothing was out of the ordinary, and all seemed pleasant. But at the current moment, my mind had plunged into a pit! What could the problem be?

A vital next step

Overwhelmed, I sat on my bed, and with my heart racing, all I could think of was calling my mom. My mom had planned to go on a walk, and I knew she was not home, so I called her cell phone. Once she picked up the phone, all I could get out were six words: Mom, would you come over – please? Being an intensely loving mom, she quickly responded: I will be right over, sweetheart. Are you OK? And I said, No. I need you.
Like a bolt of lightning, my mom was at my door, and as soon as she took one look at me, she hugged me. Before I uttered a word, she deduced the crux of my angst, i.e., health anxieties.

Despondent, I cried in her arms for what felt like 30 minutes. When my breathing returned to normal, she said: My daughter, I love you, and I am here for you. You are strong, and you are doing the right things. That is all you can do. Now, we’ll have to wait. All will be well.
As I exhaled, I responded, Thank you, my dear mommy. What would I do without you?

A Source of Strength

Within minutes, I sprung up and started my morning routine. Ironically, my situation was neither worse nor better at that time than when I rose a couple of hours earlier. However, my frame of mind improved because my mom united with me, and her encouragement propelled me to keep going more than I could on my own. – This is the invaluable benefit others can provide on our life journey. Others can remind us that sometimes, progress is patience, not the solution we dream of. By so doing, others give us the strength to be patient.

I remember that day vividly because it symbolizes a victorious moment with my mom. Without her steadfast support, I would lay marinating in the pit of despair that never leads to a desirable end. But that day, I embraced a new mindset that enabled me to explore new treatment options and wait for them to come to fruition. Also, during this time, I penned some of my most soulful and cherished poems. Additionally, I adopted a healthy mindset and decided to keep going. Unlike one might think, I am not the heroine in this story. My mom is the heroine, as her immeasurable love gave me the strength to be patient. 

Friend, no matter what opportunities and challenges we face this year, I hope we are patient with ourselves and for others. 

For you and to you,
Aké