I longed intensely to have children! God saw my tears and graciously blessed me with your sisters and you. You are my three handkerchiefs.
I have heard my mom or my mama, as I call her, say this – many times!
I am the youngest of three girls. In some ways, one could describe me as a goody two shoes. I never sneaked out of the house, violated curfews, or cut class. I was sensitive, expressive, and felt deeply. Also, I did not speak much. However, when I did, my words could bite.

When I recall some things I said, filled with gratitude, I call my parents, thank them for their grace, and remind them they are my gift from God. – He knew I would have the best chance of surviving and thriving if they were my parents!

Surviving a treacherous path

I was a sensitive child with an ironclad will: What I desired, I pursued. And what I was repulsed by, I rejected. As a result, I appeared unshakeable. – Until I had a bully!

One day in elementary school, during recess, a classmate older than me informed me the next day would be my last if I did not give her a specific amount of money. As I did not have it, I was terrified! That evening at dinner, my mom intuitively sensed something was profoundly wrong! Calmly and firmly, she inquired. Finally, with tears streaming down my face, I unloaded my burden and told her my end was near. I thought she would think I was weak and be disappointed in me. But she was not, and her response was better than I could imagine. Tenderly, she held me tight, wiped my tears, and assured me she and my dad would protect me.

The love of mom

Hours later, it was morning! When my parents drove me to school, my dad parked the car. Then my mom marched into the administrative office and asked to see the principal! My mom is petite, but on that day, she appeared as a giant. Once the bully saw my mom walking on the school grounds, she was horror-struck! Immediately, she approached me and said she never intended to carry through on her death threat. But I did not believe her. She had followed through on past threats and become increasingly aggressive. Furthermore, her recent threat was eerily explicit: Like a well-thought-out plan ready to be executed.

Several minutes later, after my mom left the principal’s office, he called the bully in. Once confronted, she cried and pleaded with him not to tell her parents or expel her. For the first time in a long while, I saw her as another child, not a wolf. That day, I learned a powerful lesson that has stayed with me ever since: Bullies are cowards―like sheep covered in faux fur.

Knowing and accepting who we are

For a while after, I wished my experience with the bully would harden me and calcify my heart. Thankfully, it never did. I am still sensitive. As an adult, I work to regulate my emotions. However, I do not hide or stuff them. – Doing so would be a rejection of self and a grave mistake.

Also, over the years, I learned to appreciate my tenderness. But I did not do so alone. My mom walked with me. Her grace helped me realize tenderness is realness and a sign of aliveness, not weakness. It is one of the many gifts she has given me. The commitment to care profoundly and sacrificially is the love of Mom.

Yours truly,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Daria Obymaha