Salvaging a divided home, organization, or society requires partnership.

We are a week away from the eleventh month of 2023, and here in the United States, we are experiencing all the Fall season has to offer. If you do not know it is Fall, the weather will happily remind you, as it feels unnatural to drop from 85 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit in 24 hours. One could tolerate such a temperature drop in a fortnight, but overnight is a little overkill! Hopefully, our exploration sends some warm rays of sunshine your way.

Where were we?

In our last piece, we explored a current phenomenon: a new thread interwoven into the fabric of modern society that is transforming human behavior and resulting in disagreeable outcomes. – It is the normalization of division. From the onset of human existence, we have thrived on our ability to partner and unite forces. Yet, we are increasingly attempting to suppress our need for each other and bolster our ability to survive and thrive – alone. Unfortunately, this prevents us from walking with those who can help us offer all we can, and it is a rocky diversion on our life journey that demands our attention. To explore, I invite you to read The Normalization of Division – BLOG – www.akesatia.com

Now, you may be thinking, Aké, where are we going next?

Exploring a vital skill

We spent the last few weeks uncovering why we reject opportunities and dissolve bonds. In this next phase, we will explore beneficial ways to forge and strengthen relational bonds and partner with others. Admittedly, I am biased toward partnership and togetherness, likely due to my natural bent toward idealism and romanticism. Also, I have been a beneficiary of the gift of love. Once you have met love, you recognize love, and you know what it is and what it is not. Throughout my days, I have received life lessons on partnering by witnessing epic love stories in my family and sitting at the feet of couples who have endured adversity yet choose each other every single day.

In addition, my entrancement with love and the power of partnership was spurred by mesmerizing tales because I love a good story! Perhaps you can relate!

The Gift of Story

My favorite fairytale is one many of us know called Beauty and the Beast. I love the story of Beauty and the Beast to the extent that I have read and watched every rendition I can get my hands on because I am curious about how others perceive and interpret the story.
An aside: In past years, I might have even attended a couple of Halloween parties in costume as the heroine, Belle. –Yep! I was that person! Now, if you can resist rolling your eyes, I will make it worth your while. 

The allure of Beauty and the Beast is not the plot, i.e., a story about a beautiful girl impulsively held captive by a lonely man for ransom and then serendipitously freed when a benevolent whim descends upon his cold heart. That story is more of a nightmare than a fairytale!
Instead, the gem of Beauty and the Beast is the life lesson.
Specifically, for the heroine: Her gracious decision to look beyond the folly and callousness of a wounded man, see his innate value, and choose to trust him. Beautifully, this allows the man to risk being vulnerable and compassionate and offer all he can to serve his community.
In turn, the man’s courageous decision to let go of his disappointments and care for another enables the woman to gain a broader perspective of the world and the value she can provide. And this allows her to make a significant impact by serving her loved ones and the community.

Herein lies the beauty in Beauty and the Beast!

Naturally, this would lead one to wonder: What leads to such a great partnership? To better understand this, let us examine a popular concept: The one!

Your one

From stories and experiences, I learned that there is a difference between the proverbial one and your one. Here is the difference!

The one is the seemingly perfect human who shows up ready-made with the ideal temperament, looking the part and saying all the right things. – This is either an impostor or a figment of the imagination!
Conversely, finding Your one is a mutual undertaking, a journey of discovery, growth, and becoming, netting out in interconnectedness. For this reason, there is a vital presence of healthy friction. 
Your one is your vital partner who echoes your greatness, sees your weaknesses as opportunities, and is your greatest fan. Also, they commit to knowing you authentically and help you to see yourself from different dimensions.  Importantly, such a person does not make you think you are perfect. Instead, they make you feel safe in your imperfections. Ultimately, they choose you and walk with you.
One might hear another refer to such a person as one who saved them, to the distaste of many pining for love and desperately seeking their mate! Ironically, there is some truth to the statement because, in a sense, love is an act of rescue. And your one rescues you from living beneath your capabilities by highlighting what is in you, building you up, and loyally standing by you.

Undeniably, I am captivated by various facets of love because I have seen its brilliance, felt its warmth, and experienced its power. However, I am not Alice. Neither do I live in Wonderland.

Defining moments

Like the rest of us, I live on Earth and have experienced my fair share of distress and disconcertment. My earliest memory of this sort dates back to a dark day in my childhood.

When I was ten years old, on a sunny, scorching summer day, I returned home from school and received news that shook my world and opened my eyes to the presence of evil. A dear family friend in her 40s was murdered viciously on public transportation in a pre-meditated act. As this family friend was a best friend to my mom and very special to me, I decided to attend her funeral. Her funeral was an overwhelmingly sad experience filled with despair and shock. As I stared into her open coffin, I called her, wishing she would wake up. But my wish did not come true. To this day, I can still remember the loud weeping, somberness, and evidence of the sheer cruelty. From that day, I never saw the world the same. That was the first funeral I attended, though not the last, and it was a defining moment.

What is your defining moment?

HOPE

Today, we hear of disasters at work, at home, at the grocery store, at the gas station, in the air, at sea, and on land. It seems wherever humans are, good fortune and misfortune are present. Remarkably, much of the good and the not-so-good are dreamt up, instigated, and executed by humans – working in partnership.

When we humans partner, we can be unstoppable. We manufacture equipment that obliterates cities instantaneously with the push of a button. Yet we also build and operate systems that revive wastelands, rescue others, and feed thousands of hungry children daily. The opportunity is to cultivate good, and partnering is the doorway. 

The critical doorway

In relationships, personal and professional, we often refer to partnering as a critical component. But what is partnering?

Per the Cambridge Dictionary, to partner is to agree to work together. PARTNERING | English meaning – Cambridge Dictionary. I am fond of this definition because it subtly implies that agreement begins in words, and action follows. Essentially, yes is yes, and no is no.
Partnering is a doorway to creation and the antidote to division, as it allows two to become better than one and enables the co-creation of life. The worthwhile question is: How do we best forge partnerships that leverage our essence, abilities, and combined capabilities for good?
In the future, we will delve into this! It will be a warm ride in a chilly season.

Until next time, stay well.

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pixabay | GeralT