The Gift of Friendship
When true friends surround us, we do not have to walk alone.
Many years ago, when I got over the shock of being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), I struggled to see my worth and recalibrate my dreams. For a long time, I believed it would make anyone who came close to me and was of sound mind head for the hills. Terrified, I did what I committed to not doing when I met a psychotherapist in my early twenties. I hid!
MS is a mysterious condition, and until I learned how it showed up for me, I was more terrified of what it could mean than what it was. – This broke me. What is brokenness? The Cambridge Dictionary defines brokenness as a state of emotional pain that prevents someone from living a normal or healthy life. The definition resonated with me as I had resolved to settle for a life of bare existence between four walls – the walls of my office and those in my flat. In that state, depression would sneak in and steal my years faster than MS ever could. – For that is an inevitable outcome of living in a cage.
Thankfully, I had friends who saw me and loved me – it motivated me to step out of my cage physically and emotionally.
The gift of friendship
My friends were two women I met at work years earlier. Almost every day, when they returned home from work, they suggested we go to happy hour. – I like happy hour as do they, but it was never about the drinks, as we never ordered alcoholic beverages. Instead, it was an opportunity to spend time together. They were incredibly kind. Within a few months, I saw them as lifelines, not work acquaintances, and they became my people.
Unfortunately, a few years later, they each experienced a life-altering traumatic event! At that time, we lived many hours apart by air. However, we spoke weekly – sometimes for hours – over the phone. When we did, I rarely had answers. But I allowed them to speak freely. Confident that I did not perceive them as a burden or an inconvenience, they trusted me, and I walked with them. I was honored.
The choice a true friend makes.
Misfortune befalls us all. When it does, we are better off when surrounded by true friends, as their love enables us not to walk alone – even when times are hard. It is not convenient, but it is love.
We cannot force anyone to love or not love us. Loving us is a decision that our people make every day.
** A bit of news:
This will be my last blog post for some time. Stay well, be well, and do well.
You know how to reach me. **
For you and to you,
Aké
Image credit: Pexels | Dawafenjo Gurung
