Today is one of those days! A day when a burgeoning idea is worth seeding and a persistent thought is worth pondering. So, what’s top of mind? How about the topic that makes hearts beat sixty minutes an hour, twenty-four hours a day, and three hundred and sixty-five days a year? Love.

I am bullish on love! Love is the most valuable gift we can offer and receive. It is the path to fulfillment and what gives our lives meaning – with life partners, friends, family, strangers, and ourselves. Without love, humans are reduced to atoms and cells and may survive for a bit, but do not stand a chance to thrive.

The rescuer

We would all like to think we are fantastic people – consistently caring, thoughtful, and kind. Or at minimum, fair and decent! However, as humans, we have a propensity to focus inward – primarily on our needs and wants. Or, as some say, to look out for number one. i.e., Ourselves! Fortunately, here, love steps in to rescue us! It propels us to look out for one another, to sacrifice for others, and to strive to right our wrongs when we inevitably hurt each other. Perhaps because of such mysterious interventions, we assume we have a robust grasp of love.

To corroborate this, we have an extensive list of blueprints for getting love in the form of apps, programs, and variations of romantic relationships. At every street corner, someone seems to share a new invention, approach, technique, or experimental method for love. Ironically, despite all of our love inventions, we have a greater grasp on how to successfully go to space than on how to cultivate and sustain lifelong love relationships.

Failure to launch

Case in point: December 2024, an article in the Journal of Space Safety Engineering stated that despite a near-exponential increase in space launch events in the 2020s, the number of failures is less than 6% annually.
Contrast that to marriages! In November 2024, a Forbes article reported that 41% of first-time marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

Sarcastically, one could conclude we fail more at launches in the heart than in space. Love seems familiar yet appears foreign. Therefore, we have much to learn about how to tie the knot and keep it tied securely!

Foreign familiarity

Today, perhaps more than ever, love appears both familiar and foreign. It is not solely misunderstood, but also minimized and mischaracterized as a feeling, a thought, a physical experience, or a legal arrangement. Essentially, we seem to view love as a thing that one can define as they wish and pursue as they see fit to serve themselves.

As many of these approaches do not yield optimal and fulfilling results, many invest heavily in pursuing what they believe is love, yet feel woefully unsuccessful. Here, an ounce of deliberation offers great insight.

The realm of vital pursuits

The pursuit of love is much like the pursuit of gold.

A gold miner worth their salt ensures they know what they are seeking – where to search, how to look, how to identify it, and safeguard it when they lay hold of it. In the same vein, when we set out to pursue love, we must ask: Do we understand what we are after? Can we recognize it when we see it? And when we find it, do we know how to keep it?

Unfortunately, as we do not always seek to answer these essential questions before embarking on the hunt, we experience unending disappointment.

Love: The elusive pursuit?

After toiling, many grow despondent and conclude that love is not for them. They say it is elusive, and despite searching laboriously, they have not found someone who makes them feel it. But what exactly is this enigmatic thing? Does it sing a tune like a nightingale, emit a lush fragrance like lilies of the valley, or light our path like moonlight?
Many of us expect love to do all of this and more! We desperately hope it is the coveted panacea nudged in the heart of a specific special person, and once they give it to us, we will be whole. – This is a myth – one of many love myths that pushes us farther away from what we truly seek. And dare we say, need!

In pursuit of understanding, let’s go on a journey to debunk some common love myths! As we explore this lush terrain, I look forward to uncovering gems that enlighten us, provoke our minds, and, from time to time, bring a smile to our faces.

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pixabay | wal_172619