If you are a fan of romantic comedies, you have probably heard this famous line: Love means never having to say you are sorry. It is from the film Love Story. As a young teen, I thought this was the most romantic line ever! But in time, I realized the fallacy in such a belief! When love is present, we see much to apologize for, not because our self-esteem is low. But because we desire that our beloved be well and soar. True love always desires, hopes, and expects the best.

Seeing through the eyes of love.

Some say love is for those who perpetually float in la-la land. Such would be true if love were a mere feeling. However, true love is very different. It is grounded and awakens a desire in you to leave the world in a better state than you found it.

When we truly love another, we see them as a gold bar covered with impurities. Like a good parent or a memorable teacher, we earnestly want them to become the best they can be. Even when they mistakenly interpret a healthy challenge to improve as evidence that they are not loved. Here, love is the elixir that enables us to see a ray of sunshine amidst dark clouds and commit to finding light.

Love does not impose. However, it never loses hope.

Imagine this!
You hear about a young football player called Alex. Alex is on a full-ride scholarship as the running back for his college football team. His coach believes he is talented beyond measure and capable of having a lengthy career in the NFL.

One rainy Tuesday afternoon, walking by the field, you hear Alex complaining to his coach that he does not believe he truly cares for him, as he requires him to do more difficult conditioning routines than others on the team.
Next, you hear the coach imploring Alex. He tells him that he loves him like his son, dreams the best for him, and explains the necessity of strict training for improvement. However, Alex is unmoved and states that he would much rather enjoy all life has to offer. Specifically, party all night long and sleep in on Saturday mornings. Rather than head to the gym at an ungodly hour.

What do we make of such a situation?

Some might wonder why a coach would spend valuable time and energy encouraging a bratty, immature athlete to stay on the team, given that there are many talented athletes out there! Others might even say that in displaying such humility, the coach went above and beyond! But when love is concerned, what act of service, display of compassion – not pity, and humble posture, is too high an expectation?

Sometimes, love looks like fluttering feelings stemming from excitement. However, true love is calmer.

True love enables continuous improvement.

Loving someone is like acquiring a visibly flawed cottage in the middle of nowhere. To the average eye, the cottage is not a worthwhile investment. But to you, it is invaluable. As it captivated you, you pour endlessly into it. Only you know its true worth, and you carry it in your heart. Therefore, regardless of what others think, you always hope. And even when you are not there physically, your heart is.

Similarly, when one loves another, they see every blemish – not as something to fix, but as a mark of distinction. And if the other allows them access into their life and heart, they walk with them faithfully. True love does not leave us unchanged. It compels us to grow beyond our wildest imagination and comprehension.

For you and to you,
Aké

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