We spent the past several weeks exploring love by addressing false beliefs, or love myths. Such an approach is beneficial as we learn more about what something is by knowing what it is not. Today, let us pursue a direct approach: I will delve into love by sharing lessons I gleaned from someone I love with everything I have. – I am referring to my wonderful sister and best friend, Jessie. No one hugged me tighter, wept as bitterly when I was hurt, inspired me to grow, or celebrated me more than her.

An unforgettable memory

The Philips Sonicare toothbrush was hot in the market when I was attending university. Although they were significantly more expensive than the average toothbrush, they were the most effective, and I desperately wanted one! I worked part-time at the school gymnasium, and couldn’t afford it on my paltry wages. Additionally, I prefer not to make extravagant requests. Therefore, it seemed a far-fetched dream until Jessie heard about it! Weeks later, she surprised me with one. I was overjoyed—not because of the item. Rather, because she was attentive not solely to my needs, but also to my dreams. This is love!

Love opens the door

Over the years, she continued to solidify my confidence in her love. The doors to her heart and life were always open to me. I always knew where she was and how to reach her. She shared her burdens with me and attentively listened to mine. I was confident in her love because I had access to her: physically and emotionally. Access is the telltale sign of love, and it is required to cultivate a healthy relationship.

Whenever I traveled to Jessie’s for vacation, she came home early from work. We’d have dinner together, watch a comedy, and play Scrabble and card games until midnight, while laughing profusely. Those are some of my dearest memories: She worked a lot and needed rest. Yet, she spent her precious free time with me. She always chose me.

The gift of access

When Jessie was no longer here, I worried whether she would approve of my future husband when he surfaced. Soon enough, my heart was at rest because I knew exactly what she would tell me. She would say, Baby Aké, you are principled and you walk with God. I know you partnered with Him in making the choice, and He will always protect you. You won’t see me at your wedding, but know that I will be there celebrating with you! I love you.

This is true love

Jessie and I were similar. But she was a better human. She saw the good in me and believed my intentions were pure. And when my actions failed, she never portrayed me as a villain. Through this, she helped me realize that one who is flawed and broken is beautiful and deserves to be seen.

People often say that I am distinctly confident. For a while, I dismissed that remark, but I no longer do. I understand it all better now. My confidence stems from a balanced perspective. The perfectionist in me can be mercilessly critical of myself. However, I also see myself through Jessie’s eyes, and from that viewpoint, there is much to love. Only true love can speak to the heart so eloquently and pierce it to heal it. Such love is divine. Jessie taught me that love is always available, but it doesn’t stand still. It is active and must be shared, and it does not have to be reciprocal to be true. For all my days, I will sing this tune.

Love truly.

For you and to you,
Aké

Image credit: Pexels | Tim Mossholder