Welcome to July!

We are a little over a week into the summer season, and there is much to celebrate! – School is out, the sun is shining, and the outdoor pools are open! But the prime reason for celebration is none of the above. The foremost reason for jubilation is Independence Day, which is on the 4th of July!
Last year, we dabbled in the origins of Independence Day, and the learnings were intriguing! You may read more in the blog post, Gain Freedom. Like today, in earlier times, Independence Day festivities were elaborate and included versions of what we know to be fireworks, music concerts, barbecues, and family gatherings of all sizes. But, as we know, Independence Day is not about pie contests or pitmasters showcasing their skills. – It is a remembrance of the battles fought for liberty, and one phrase encapsulates the fight. The phrase is the pursuit of freedom!
Freedom is distinct from many desires because it is universal. – A gem all humans crave but cannot obtain in isolation.

Aloneness

Today, we sometimes confuse freedom with aloneness. – We want to rid our calendars of all meetings, work from home all the time, have our toothpaste delivered by a drone, and be teleported to a remote island for vacation! Indeed, after a stressful work week, we might classify solo living as the epitome of freedom. However, alone and free are markedly different!
To be alone is to be kept apart from others. And to be free is not to be bound, confined, or detained by force. (SOURCE: Merriam-Webster Dictionary.) Notably, being alone does not necessarily suggest one is free. Neither does the decision to be away from others imply one is fleeing bondage.

For example, when I was a young girl, from when I could crawl to my early teens, I enjoyed time alone. When away from school, I would spend time with family and friends – laughing, playing games, listening to music, and telling stories. Then, I would withdraw to a corner of our home, such as the library, garden, or my room, for some alone time. During such times, I would read, ponder the meaning of life, and imagine the future. When I retreated, I was not fleeing a person or situation. I was reconnecting with myself. Back then, such behavior might have been considered eccentric and symptomatic of a socialization problem. But today, we know better: We have gleaned the value of reconnecting with oneself and fondly call these personal retreats me time. 😊

Unsurprisingly, my need and affinity for reconnecting with myself persisted, and in my 20s and early 30s, it led to frequent three to five-hour car drives into remote towns. On many weekends, on a bright day, I would hop into my car alone and head out in a specific direction of a freeway, usually Interstate 5. Once I arrived in a small town, I would stop at a local store and briefly speak with some locals. Then, I would drive through the town leisurely – taking in the sights and belting out songs from the playlist du jour! Typically, I wrapped up the excursion by stopping at a beach or garden and penning a poem. I deeply cherished these moments because I always returned refueled. And with more to give.

Then suddenly, the tide turned!

Togetherness

After many years, I found myself in an incredibly challenging situation. I felt lost, mentally caged, and emotionally shackled. As an avid explorer, this state was unbearable! But I was most surprised by my response to the mystery: I did not crave to be alone. Instead, I sought to connect with others who energized me and who I believed loved me. Specifically, I contacted trusted friends and new contacts who could relate and provide sage counsel on my pursuit of freedom.
During this time, it seemed I traded three-hour excursions alone for three-hour conversations with loved ones. And through the struggles, I realized the unforeseen gift of freedom: We do not gain freedom in isolation. We gain freedom from entrapments by communing with others. – The unforeseen gift of freedom is companionship: It is what some refer to as mattiness or palliness. Ultimately, it is true friendship!

Friend, the United States gained independence through the united efforts of many. As individuals, we also need others to attain freedom. We need their commitment and partnership, and they need the same from us.
With this, I wish you a delightful Independence Day celebration with loved ones! Stay safe and be well.

Until next time!

For you and to you,
Aké

Image Credit: Pexels | Helena Lopes