Excitement is NOT the Goal of Life?
Some time ago, my parents and I stopped at the mobile phone shop to upgrade our cell phones. The sales associate spent one and a half hours setting them up! It felt like forever, and there was little to do in the store! For this reason, I was concerned my parents would get restless. But whenever I looked at them, they were sitting side by side, chatting and laughing, without a care in the world! I don’t know what they were talking about, but it was evident they were having a great time!
Such is not unusual. My parents not only love each other deeply but also like each other a lot! It is seen in how much they enjoy being together and speaking with each other. For them, spending time together is easy like Sunday morning.
A golden perspective
Curious, I often ask them what new things they find to discuss after so many decades together. Calmly, they tell me that many of their discussions are not about something new or exciting. Instead, they reminisce and reflect on stories and experiences: sad, joyful, and everything in between. Thereby, entertaining new perspectives and insights, and experiencing the mundane as if it were novel. Their relationship thrives on commitment and growth, not excitement.
A good life is lived in ordinary moments.
My parents’ perspective reveals a mysterious yet well-known truth: What is truly special often isn’t something new, but the willingness to embrace the ordinary, learn from it, and appreciate what we already have. Great couples understand that a loving relationship flourishes when partners value ordinary moments, enduring the mundane so they can withstand life’s trials together. They never seek perpetual thrills—instead, they give and receive love, and co-create meaningful lives.
Yet today, we quickly move on to the next thing that promises to be better than the former. Sideswiped by the Fear of Missing Out, aka FOMO, we rush to quench a thirst that seems unquenchable. – We quit our jobs to find another where we can grow, but quickly take the one that promises quick promotions. We leave relationships because we feel held back. Yet jump into one that makes us feel comfortable, not one that challenges us to become the best we can be. Unsurprisingly, in short order, the spark fades, and we find ourselves going from frying pan to fire. Because as we struggle to tolerate an ordinary life, we settle for a lesser one. – A life where we get exhausted running from ourselves, but erroneously believe others are the threats we must flee to find safety. Hence, we acquire much yet feel empty.
But what if?
What if we embraced ordinary moments? What if next time, we felt frustrated that our lives seemed a little lackluster, we paused and remembered that ordinary moments are also realms of opportunity? Moments to sit in stillness, reflect, and reach out to a trusted friend: not the one who tells us what we want to hear, but the one with the audacity to kindly tell us what we need to hear.
Friend, the answers we seek to lead a good life might be found in how we embrace the mundane moments. Next time you worry about what you are missing out there, ask yourself, What am I missing here – in me?
For you and to you,
Aké
Image credit: Pexels | Christian Alemu
